The most powerful thing we can do for our children is pray. Pray for them, pray with them, pray over them - without ceasing. I have seen prayers answered in amazing ways with my children. One prayer that may surprise you, though, is my prayer for their failure. You see, it is through this failure that they will eventually succeed.

Now that school is back in session, it’s the perfect time for them to experience this success-driven failure. As parents, it is often tempting to jump in and fix things for our children before they’ve had a chance to learn from their mistakes. “You forgot your homework? I’ll bring it to school for you.” “You didn’t study for your test? Don’t worry, I’ll write an excuse note for your teacher.” “The project you’ve known about for six weeks and haven’t started yet is due tomorrow? I’ll stay up and finish it for you.” From the time our children are babies, we want so badly to protect them from all pain and suffering. In many cases, that protection is exactly what they need. But other times, our efforts to protect them may actually be doing more harm than good.

The pain, heartache, and consequences our children experience often provide the perfect learning opportunities. As young children, they learn to be more careful after they’ve had one too many falls. They learn not to leave their bike in the driveway when you back over it with the car. For school-age children, suffering the consequences of bad grades and time spent re-doing assignments teaches them responsibility and the value of a job well-done. If we’re always there to bail our kids out, will they be motivated to succeed on their own? And who will cover them when they’re out in the world, with the greater responsibilities of career and family? Will they learn to look to God for guidance and support? It is now, while they’re still under our wings, that our children need to grow and learn from the consequences of their actions - consequences that are much less damaging now than in the future, when their jobs and families are depending on them.

My oldest son is now in middle school and right in the midst of struggles with responsibility and hard work. I want so badly to rescue him and make his life easier for him. But I continue to pray that as I allow him to learn from his “failures”, that he will experience the joy of success. If I don’t give him the opportunity to fail, how can he gain the self-confidence that comes when we face a challenge and win? It is through those challenges that he will grow in his relationship with the Lord and learn to rely on Him. Endurance, perseverance, patience, responsibility, and a desire to go above and beyond what is expected of him - these are the things I can’t just hand over to him. Yes, I can be there by his side cheering him on, but it is through his struggles that, someday, he will stand proud, knowing he has accomplished more than he ever thought possible.

“…rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3-4

I often start out the summer break with lofty goals of fun-filled days in the sun with my kids, laughing and playing for hours on end. Too many times, though, I’ve ended the summer thinking, “Where has the time gone?” and wishing I had spent more time just playing. This summer, though, we’ve had a great time growing closer together with fun games and activities that have kept us going - even in the “dog days of summer.”

For the last few weeks, I’ve been sharing some of my favorite summertime boredom busters to jump start YOUR time just playing with your kids. Now school is right around the corner, but the kids are still looking for some fun ways to end their summer break. Here are a few more of my (and my kids’) favorites, that won’t leave you questioning where the time went, but knowing that you grew closer to your kids through some good old fashioned fun and quality time.

SCAVENGER HUNT Create a list of things around your home, neighborhood, or even your town, and send out the family search party! Take photos of the items you find, or for an at-home hunt, fill up a bag or basket of your treasures. We’ve even had a LUNCHTIME scavenger hunt, when the kids had to search for each part of their lunch hidden in the backyard! Here’s another fun twist - try going to a Target or Wal-Mart for your hunt, taking pictures of each other “in action” up and down the aisles! http://www.imom.com/brewing/articles/index.php?id=23

JUMP ROPE WITH A SPLASH With two people swinging the rope, jump in with a big cup full of water. Have each person complete 6 jumps, and see who can keep the most water in their cup!

FLASHLIGHT TAG Let the kids stay up late one night, and enjoy this game from your childhood together! This is also fun played inside, with all the lights turned out!

OBSTACLE COURSE Set up a course for bikes and/or roller skates

RAINY DAY FUN:

HOST A COOKING SHOW Set up the video camera, and get cooking together! They’ll especially love watching all the bloopers when they’re done!

MAKE A STOP MOTION MOVIE Get out the Legos, action figures, or dolls, and video them, one movement at a time. Play it all together, and your kids will be ready for Hollywood!

PHOTO IDs Use your computer to edit a photo of your kids, creating an ID Card of who they want to be when they grow up. Whether it’s a spy, firefighter, doctor, or garbage collector, let their imaginations run wild! Cut out and laminate.

INDOOR FORT Use sheets, chairs, and other furniture to build an indoor fort or tent. Camp out in the living room!

FUN SNACK IDEAS:

GO FISHING Dip pretzel rods in peanut butter, than “catch” goldfish crackers

EDIBLE HANGMAN Remember hangman? Have kids write their letter guesses on crackers with squeeze cheese. Use assorted veggies, fruits, and pretzel sticks to build the hangman. Great back-to-school snack!

“K’NEX” SNACK Do your kids love playing with K’nex toys? Why not make them edible? Connect pretzel sticks together with grapes, cheese, marshmallows, etc. to build people, buildings, or whatever they dream up!

FINALLY, don’t forget simple activities like sack races, water balloon tosses, and just relaxing on a blanket, watching the shapes in the clouds. Bless your children with memories of fun-filled summers spent with family and friends.

Last week, I told you about my family’s “Boredom Box”, the box where we store all the fun activity ideas we come across in magazines, online, and other various sources. (See previous blog entry, “Busting Boredom” http://westpointchurch.org/blog/?p=44)

This week, I’m sharing some of my favorite summer fun ideas that will help you say good-bye to your children’s whines of boredom.(Have you ever tried giving them a little cheese with their whine?)

POOL GAMES:

NAME THAT TUNE- Try singing a song underwater while everyone else guesses the title! (This works great for me, because my off-key howling sounds like the next American Idol winner when I’m underwater!)

CHARADES - Act out a word or phrase while jumping in the pool. You’d better be quick - you have to finish before you hit the water!

BALLOON GRAB - With a dozen or more inflated balloons in the pool, see who can grab and hold the most balloons under their bodies in 30 seconds.

PIRANHA - Hold hands in a circle around the “piranha” (a ball). When a player is bumped by the ball, he/she has been bitten! Remaining players join hands, making a smaller, more challenging circle.

DIVE FOR CHANGE - Great activity to sharpen your kids’ math brains before school starts! Throw a handful of coins on the bottom of the pool. Have them dive for a specific amount of change. For older kids, use word problems, asking them how much several items will cost altogether, or how much change they should give their customer.

OTHER FUN IDEAS:

CHRISTMAS IN JULY - My kids look forward to this every year, and this year will be especially appropriate, since the CompassKids Klub theme is Christmas in July, too! Turn down your A/C, light a fire in the fireplace, make hot cocoa, set up a small Christmas tree, make Christmas cookies, watch Christmas movies, read Christmas books, exchange small gifts… you get the idea! Be sure to emphasize the gift of Jesus. Your kids will especially love a little Christmas snow, too! Let them have a flour snowball fight! (See “Snow Much Fun” http://westpointchurch.org/blog/?p=35)

MARBLE RACES - You’ll really use your noodle with this game! Cut one of your pool “noodles” in half lengthwise. Join the halves side by side with toothpicks, creating two “tracks” from the hollow center of the noodle. Decorate with Start and Finish signs inserted with toothpicks, prop up one end, and use it for marble races!

CHIA PET LAWN- Draw a picture or write your name on the lawn with string. Slowly saturate it with plant food solution. In about a week, the design or word will appear as deeper green grass. Don’t worry - unless you feed it every two weeks, the mark will slowly blend with the lawn.

SQUIRT BOTTLE RELAY - See who can squirt an inflated balloon across the lawn the fastest! Each person starts with a balloon and a squirt bottle. When you say “GO!” everyone starts squirting, moving their balloon as fast as they can across the finish line.

BACKYARD CAMP-OUT - Set up the tent, grill hot dogs, make s’mores, tell stories under the stars…. this is one of my all time favorites! We usually find Daddy curled up in his comfy bed in the air-conditioning by the next morning, but we all still have a great time! Here’s a fun STORY TIME IDEA for your camp-out: One person starts the story with one word, and each player quickly adds another word to keep things going. Choose someone to write each word down as it’s said, and later give a dramatic reading (by flashlight, of course) of the entire story. You can really make things crazy by having everyone use words that start with the same letter!

Hopefully these ideas will get you started, as you dream up other fun ideas of your own! The idea is simply to get your family to have fun TOGETHER. Next time, I’ll be sharing more of my favorites, including fun snack ideas and rainy day activities!

Playing doesn’t come naturally to me. Oh, I’m sure when I was five it did, but as an adult, it just doesn’t happen. I see other parents who can start a game in the backyard on a whim, with no planning or forethought. I, however, seem to be missing the “make it up as you go along” gene. To make matters worse, I missed out on the good memory gene, too, so I can’t even remember what in the world I did for fun when I was a kid myself. Now that I have three wild and crazy kids of my own, I can’t just relive my childhood and do what I did - I don’t remember what I did! So, I find myself spending hours on end researching fun things to do with my kids. Can you believe that? Doing RESEARCH on how to have FUN? Crazy.

With summer in full swing, I’m relying more and more on my “files of fun.” Our Boredom Box, which we hardly had time to look at during the school year, is helping me relive the childhood summer fun that I’m sure I must have had. Most importantly, it’s giving my kids a childhood full of summer fun that I’m sure they won’t forget!

For any of you other parents that may be “fun challenged” like me, why not try the Boredom Box for your family? Let your kids decorate an old shoe box (Oh, look! A fun activity!), then brainstorm fun ideas together, writing them on slips of paper and placing them in the box. As you find ideas in magazines and online, print them out and add them to your collection. Next time your kids come to you whining, “I’m bored!” point them to the Boredom Box. You can also pick out an activity each morning, or plan your week in advance.

Over the next several weeks, I’ll be sharing some of my favorite summertime boredom busters. Put them in your box, and start having FUN!

Now that school is out, and your children have received THEIR report cards, why not let your kids give YOU a report card!  In the book “Family Traditions”, J. Otis Ledbetter and Tim Smith recommend giving the following report card to your kids.  As a parent, it will help draw your attention to any areas you might need to work on.  In addition, your children will see your desire to grow right along side them, and they will know you value their opinion.   Resist the urge to tell your kids how unfair you think their grading may be - listen closely to their explanations, and ask how you might improve your grades for next semester. If your kids are too young to do this on their own, try grading yourself!  

The Parent Report Card
Parent’s name_________________________  Date____________________
Child’s name__________________________
Evaluation Period_________________to____________________
Circle the grade for each of the following that your parent has earned:
1. Spends time with me A   B   C   D   F
2. Listens to me A   B   C   D   F
3. Helps me with my homework if I need it A   B   C   D   F
4. Makes the rules clear A   B   C   D   F
5. Is consistent in enforcing the rules A   B   C   D   F
6. Doesn’t yell at me when angry A   B   C   D   F
7. Treats all the kids in the family fairly A   B   C   D   F
8. Keeps fun in our family A   B   C   D   F
9. Shows me a good example by completing chores A   B   C   D   F
10. Tries to make holidays special A   B   C   D   F
11. Is building family traditions A   B   C   D   F
12. Shows and tells me he/she loves me A   B   C   D   F
13. Shows respect to me and my friends A   B   C   D   F
14. Lets me make my own decisions A   B   C   D   F
15. Lets me act my age A   B   C   D   F
16. Citizenship (attitude) A   B   C   D   F
Comments:

“Mommy!” “Mom!” “MOM!” “MOMMMMYYYY!” It’s always in the middle of an important phone conversation that these words come bellowing across the house. Whether they’re screaming from the other room or tugging on your shirt so hard that it is stretched down to your ankles, children have a way of blurting out at some of the most inopportune moments.

In our family of three crazy (and very LOUD) boys, the “interrupt rule” has become an invaluable tool for teaching our kids how to show respect for others. Teach your children that if they need to interrupt, they should simply place a hand on your hip or shoulder, and wait patiently. No words, no tugging, just silence. The important part, of course, is to acknowledge them. Immediately place your hand on top of theirs to let them know you are aware of their presence. Then, as soon as you have an opportunity, excuse yourself from your conversation, and listen to your child’s question.

According to Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo (”Growing Kids God’s Way”), the interrupt rule is a way for your child to show respect to others, while at the same time communicating his or her needs to you. “Such an action reinforces in the mind of the child that he shares this world with other people. This response directs him towards the preciousness of others.”

Teach your child the interrupt rule this week. Practice it with them at home. Later, if they begin to interrupt, continue your conversation and place their hand on your hip to remind them. It will take some practice, but you’ll be amazed how quickly they’ll get it - and how much better you can hear others speak!

This is also a great opportunity for your children to practice this month’s virtue for CompassKids! “Patience: Waiting until later for what you want now.”

Have you ever found yourself “pleading the Fifth” with your kids? No, I don’t mean the Fifth Amendment (although, sometimes you might feel you need to do that, too!) I’m talking about the Fifth Commandment. When your children talk back or act disrespectfully toward you, it’s probably pretty easy to spout off God’s command, exclaiming, “Honor your mother and your father!” But how can we demonstrate what honor really looks like? Most of the time, our example speaks much louder than our words. The respect we show our OWN parents speaks volumes to our children.

A few years ago, money was especially tight, and I wanted to come up with a meaningful gift for my parents that wouldn’t cost a lot of money. I had heard friends speak of tributes they had written for their parents, and the amazing impact it had on their relationships. These weren’t “happy little family” relationships, either. These were relationships wrought with anger, unforgiveness, and regret. Through prayer and a commitment to honor their parents despite the tension between them, they gave their parents a gift worth all the money in the world. No, I didn’t have a bad relationship with my parents, but I wanted to honor them just the same. My parents divorced when I was five, and I wanted them to know that despite any regrets they might have about how they raised me, they had made a positive impact in the life of their little girl. I included my step-parents, thanking them for the way they had shaped me, as well. As they opened the framed tributes I had written for them, reading the words with tears streaming down their faces, I saw God’s Commandment come alive. It was no longer a few words in the Bible that had to be followed “because God said so,” it was a blessing to me, as well, for having the opportunity to bless my parents.

I know that some of you may have distanced, troubled relationships with your parents, or for some of you, your parents are no longer on this earth. You may be writing to your parents that have grown to be your best friends, or to your estranged father. In any situation, though, God can use you to honor them, whether you think they are worthy of it or not. Maybe it will be the first step toward repairing a hard relationship, or maybe it will simply be an opportunity for you to put your memories of deceased parents into words. Maybe you’ll just be writing to thank your parents for a job well done. In any case, you will be honoring your parents, and in turn, showing your children a biblical picture of honor, as well.

Don’t put it off. Write about your favorite memories, what you’re thankful for, how your parents have influenced your life. Thank them for being your parents, for the sacrifices they made. Pray for God to guide your words. Even in troubled relationships, He will reveal SOMETHING you can be thankful for. I’ve heard dozens of stories of healed hearts, as adult children were able to let go of the past and be thankful, even when there wasn’t a lot to be thankful for. Read your tribute to your children. Explain the gift God has given you and the blessing of the parent-child relationship. I have no doubt it will bless your life - and theirs - in tremendous ways.

Until my first-born started school, I witnessed nearly every minute of his life. I listened to every word as his speech progressed from “car-car” to “SUV” and from “may-may” to “banana.” (Don’t ask how he got “may-may” from “banana,” but it sure was sad to hear him grow out of that one!) So when he started Kindergarten, it was hard to face the fact that he would be living his own little life without me, 5 days a week, 7 hours a day. I was missing out on 35 hours of that life each week that, up until then, I had watched so very closely. That’s when I decided to designate the corner chair in our living room as our “talking chair.” This was the place we headed after school, where he could give me the details about his day, and as he got older, know that he could talk about anything, while I simply listened. This wasn’t a time for me to lecture, it was just a time to chat. Over the past year or two, though, the “talking chair” has fallen silent. We’ve had plenty of great conversations, but we’ve lost the regular, intentional “chair chats.” That chair was the place where my children could count on daily time with me. The place where they felt their words were important, where I didn’t just shake my head, “MmmHmm,” while I went about my business. We could share funny stories, discuss their best and worst moments of the day, or talk about something that had been bugging them.

I had forgotten the importance of our talking chair until tonight, when my son, now 10-years-old, asked me if we could have a “mother-son talk” before bed. My initial thought was, “Oh no, I’m going to have to answer questions about sex - I haven’t even gotten the courage to tell him about Santa Clause!” The truth was, he was just in need of a good ol’ “chair chat.” Yesterday had been a rough day at school for him, and he wanted to discuss some possible solutions to his problem. As we sat in that corner chair, sharing ideas with each other, his worries subsided. I listened to his ideas for activities we could do together to make us even closer. He bit his lip as he excitedly tried to hold back his plans for the gift he wanted to make me for my birthday. After our conversation, he had an extra spring in his step as he went to bed, having had the privilege of staying up later than his brothers, engaging in a “grown up” conversation with his mom. I, too, had an extra spring in my step, having been blessed by the time with my son. As I walked away from his room, he yelled down the hall, “Thank you, Mom, for our talk!”

It’s a tradition that I hope will get us through both joyful and difficult times ahead, as we face times when most kids want to close themselves off from their parents. I hope you, too, will find a special place in your home. Whether it be a “talking chair” or a “talking futon,” just start talking!

Are there are any holidays these days that don’t involve candy? As if the giant bowl in our kitchen full of left over Halloween, Christmas, Valentine, and even “leprechaun’s gold” chocolate isn’t enough, now I’m filling plastic eggs with candy that will also end up in that bowl, to be passed out to trick-or-treaters come October! Somewhere between those giant chocolate rabbits and jelly beans, though, there’s a great story to share with our children. Let’s help them remember the reason for our celebration.

I’ll never forget several years ago when my oldest son first demonstrated his understanding of the Easter story. His younger brother was in need of discipline, and my son, with the story of Jesus’ sacrifice at the forefront of his mind, decided that he, too, should follow Jesus’ steps. He burst through the door, declaring that HE wanted to take his younger brother’s punishment for him. (Of course, in later years, there were times when he requested that we PUNISH his brother… but let’s not ruin the story…) There he was, this 5-year-old boy, willing to pay the price for something he didn’t do, just to save his brother. The Easter story had taken hold of his heart, and he wanted to be a part of it!

As you teach your children the Easter story this year, have some fun! Create memories and family traditions that will draw your family closer together. Celebrate with them, and rejoice in the fact that Jesus is alive! Here are a few ideas I’ve come across over the years….

*Jesus celebrated the Passover meal with his disciples the night before his death.  During dinner Thursday night, have your kids imagine what it would have been like to be one of Jesus’ disciples that evening.  Share family communion together.  Read passages leading up to the account of the Last Supper (John 13), Jesus’ last words to His disciples (John 14-16), and Jesus’ prayer for us (John 17).  Discuss what it means to share His cup (John 18:11).  Discuss what it means to be part of the body of Christ.  Thank God together for the gift of His son, for forgiveness, and for adopting each one of us into His own family.

*On Good Friday, light three candles to symbolize the three crosses on Calvary, the three times Peter denied Jesus, and the three days Jesus lay in the tomb.  Talk about the Crucifixion and pray that God will help us understand the price Jesus paid for our sins.  Dramatize the blackness of death at the end of the evening by turning out all the house lights and then blowing out the candles.  (”Celebrations”, by Brenda Poinsett)

*Make a wooden cross.  On Good Friday, have each family member write their name in red ink on a scrap of old fabric.  Take turns nailing your fabric to the cross, symbolizing the way Jesus was nailed to the cross for each one of us.

*Show love to your neighbors!  Sneak over to some of the neighborhood kids’ homes on Saturday night and place Easter eggs in their front yard.  It will be fun for your kids to experience anonymous giving!

*As you decorate eggs with your kids, explain to them that just as new life hatches from eggs, Easter eggs are a symbol of the new life Jesus gives us.

*Read or watch “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”, and explain how Aslan, the noble lion who dies to free Narnia, then comes back to life,  symbolizes Jesus.

*Read the story “Benjamin’s Box”, along with using Resurrection Eggs

*Talk about jellybean colors together: “Red is for the blood He gave. Green is for the grass He made. Yellow is for the sun so bright. Orange is for the edge of night. Black is for the sins we made. White is for the grace He gave. Purple is for His hour of sorrow. Pink is for our new tomorrow. An egg full of jelly beans, colorful and sweet is a prayer, a promise, a loved one’s treat!”

*Saturday night, make Easter story cookies (you can find the recipe online)

I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times from both friends and strangers alike - those who’ve made it a little further down the parenting road than you - they all say the same thing: “Kids grow up so fast. Savor every moment. Before you know it, they’ll be grown.”

It’s amazing, though, no matter how much truth there is to that statement, we all too often forget it. We worry about work and bills and our children’s homework. We zip from soccer practice to piano lessons to gymnastics. We work, work, work to buy more “stuff”, then work some more to clean, fix, and eventually toss that same “stuff” we thought we couldn’t live without.

In the midst of all the craziness, it can be hard to just ENJOY our children. Savor them, stare into their faces and tell them how much you love them. Sit together and watch the sunset. Listen to the birds. Gaze at pictures in the clouds. Read a book. Play a game. Listen to your child describe what his or her favorite day would look like. Ask each other questions and really TALK to each other.

We never know how much time we have left. My childhood best friend was the first of our group of friends to have a baby, and therefore, my source of advice when my first son was born. She, too, talked about how fast her girls were growing up, and the importance of enjoying them. Last week, she was tragically killed. I know she would give anything to give her children one last hug and kiss, and tell them one more time how much she loves them. Thankfully, although her time with her girls was cut short, she had made the most of the time she had with them. Even the day she died, they had spent a fun day skiing together.

It’s times like these that make me so thankful for the GIFT God has given us in our children. Life is a gift. Cherish it. Don’t wait for your to do list to be done. Put your kids at the top of that list, and enjoy them RIGHT NOW.

CHERISH by Rachel Snyder

Cherish all you’ve been given.
Cherish baby’s first smile, first cry, first tooth, first word.
Treasure them now, because they pass so quickly.

Cherish the things that really matter, like time and love and
laughter. Like a hug and a kiss and the tiniest gesture that
says I LOVE YOU. Cherish whomever you call your family
and whomever you call your friend.

Oh, yes, cherish the challenges of parenthood, too, for
the way they make you strong. Then cherish this moment.
This one, right now! It’s the only one you can truly appreciate.